no, he came in my armpit
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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