im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
