Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize