Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
