I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
