Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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