Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she looked like the before picture.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize