You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
