Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
