Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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