New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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