Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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