i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
whose ass print is on the piano?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
