Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize