You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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