Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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