I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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