im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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