I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so explain again why im purple
no
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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