So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
