so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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