i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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