kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
