I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm at about main and main street
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I don't deserve a penis
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
