Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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