Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
