what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
