Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
