he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
