haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
