You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
