i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
