dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
