she sounds like chewbacca in bed
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize
