I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
