i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
