I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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