I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
