The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
