You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
