Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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