who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize