I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize