so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize