She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
