I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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