ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
