I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
