I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
