i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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