i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
