The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
