My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
