Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
