p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
