I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize