The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
