I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
