erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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