is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
