Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize