ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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