guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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