Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize