Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
