New invention idea: vibrating tampons
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
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