i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
