I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
