I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
