I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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