Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize