check it out our google latitudes are spooning
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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