google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
