bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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