is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
