if only i could text you this smell
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
