I will die if light touches me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
