'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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