come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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