You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
