i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
