We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
