Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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